


The problem with stealing from your friends

by quizkwatsh



Series: Ezekiel Jones has OCD verse [2]
Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Ezekiel-centric, Hoarding, Kleptomania, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, OCD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:33:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9455210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quizkwatsh/pseuds/quizkwatsh
Summary: Everyone at the library has been getting increasingly frustrated with Ezekiel for stealing from them. They don’t understand why he does it and think that it is to disrespect them. They don’t understand that he needs to steal in order to stop the thoughts and to stop himself from freaking out. They don't understand that he doesn't want to hurt them, and Ezekiel doesn't know how to explain it to them.





	

Ezekiel has been stealing ever since he was a child. He wants to say he doesn’t remember when it started, but that would be a lie. He was seven and it was some trading cards from one of the “cool kids” that always made fun of him. He remembers how calm he felt afterwards, the feeling of things being okay for once.

He has been stealing ever since. Sometimes it is big things in a museum, but usually it is small things that he has no use for. The big things he sells, everything else he keeps.  
He has long ago stopped stealing out of jealousy, but he thinks maybe that was never the real reason he did it. Sure the first time he ever stole was because he was jealous, but every single other time has been because he needs to feel that calm again, that relief.

The thing is life is good now, he has found people that are worthy of his love and caring. He has found a home. Yet he still cannot stop stealing. Sure he has mostly stopped stealing valuable things to sell. But the small things, the things he doesn’t need, that just lay around his apartment and make it an unliveable place. Those things he cannot stop taking. He has tried so many times, but the pressure, the anxiety gets so bad he feels like he is going to die, and the only way to calm it down and give him some relief from the thoughts is to steal. So he keeps doing it. Even though he is starting to hate it, even though he is starting to be filled with shame whenever he steals, because they look at him as if they are disappointed and he doesn’t want to let them down. Even though stealing is definitely hurting him more than it is helping him nowadays.

He understand that once upon a time it was a useful way of coping with the world, but he also understand that it has outlived its usefulness now. He has done the research, he understand that his behaviour isn’t normal or healthy, but this knowledge doesn’t always mean he can do anything about it. He knows that there are things wrong with him mentally, and that there have been for a long time. He has tried to make it less bad, and he has managed to do that a little bit. Nevertheless despite life not being as difficult as it could be, it is still very difficult.

However trying to steal less often, keeps on leading to Ezekiel stealing from his friends. Which in most ways is much worse than stealing from random strangers.

\---

They haven’t been having any cases lately, which means they haven’t really left the library a lot. Which shouldn’t be a problem, but this paired with Ezekiel trying to wait until the pressure is unbearable until he steals, means that right now he is feeling horrible. He feels like he is going to have a panic attack if he doesn’t steal something. He can’t stop thinking about how he is going to lose everything. 

Currently they are all doing things by themselves. Eve and Flynn went somewhere together, Jake is reading, Cassandra is creating a reference and Jenkins is somewhere in the back doing some type of research.

He can’t leave the library without his teammates asking questions, so his only option is to steal from someone at the Library. Or of course to suffer through a panic attack and continue to get more anxious, before he will still end up stealing from someone here. That seems to be unavoidable no matter how much he tries. He will just have to steal and put it back without them noticing it, something that is easy for a master thief like him.

Ezekiel goes up to Cassandra and asks “Hey, what’re you working on?” “Oh, I am trying to compile old information and reference sheets of different magical creatures into a large list where we can easily see which creatures have which characteristic, so we will be able to find out faster what we are dealing with” she explained. He responded with “You know, you should make this list digital, that way you can easily filter on certain characteristics and it will be easier for everyone to use, without having to read through that entire list you are making.” She smiled at him, seeming pleased with his contribution. Ezekiel walked back to the corner he had been working in on his computer, he had gotten what he came for after all.

Ezekiel stole her passport while she was talking, it was something important, which somehow helped with the anxiety, but not something that she would notice was missing right away. One of the first times he started stealing from his friends like this, he had made the mistake of stealing a phone without thinking about how often people reached for that. Jake had noticed only after a few minutes and gotten mad at him for stealing it. He had made some frustrated comments about Ezekiel needing to grow up and stop stealing from his team.

Everyone at the library has been getting increasingly frustrated with Ezekiel for stealing from them. They don’t understand why he does it and think that it is to disrespect them. They don’t understand that he needs to steal in order to stop the thoughts and to stop himself from freaking out. They don't understand that he doesn't want to hurt them, and Ezekiel doesn't know how to explain it to them.

Ezekiel kept Cassandra’s passport the entire day and only returned it when they were done for the day and he was saying goodbye to her.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a short first chapter, but I felt I had to post it before I talked myself out of it. I intend for future chapters to be longer. I also have an outline finished for the story about what is going to happen it. So I do have an idea about what direction it is going to go into.


End file.
